The drama llama

Today, I was talking to a friend regarding her upcoming 3oth birthday party.  I asked if I was still invited since she is also friends with my ex.  She said yes, but reminded me that he was going to be there.  I informed her that I knew he would be.

I also asked if I could bring a friend.  First she replied with “The house is going to be packed.  With you coming, that makes 22 people.”  At that time I informed her that one of the people she invited told me that he was unable to go as he could not get off from work.  That said, if I brought my friend, it still would be 22 people.

She then asked me if my friend was a guy, “like the one you are dating”.  I informed her that yes, in fact, it was a guy.  And that no, we are not dating.  She then adds “ok, the one you’re banging”.

Wait – It gets better!  She then said “He (my ex) will know the folks there – but he won’t have banged any of them…”.  Umm…okay.  Yes, it is true that we have had sex. But I have not advertised this.  Nor do I intend to.  I told her that only in confidence…as a friend.  And speaking of friends, he is just a friend with benefits.  At least for now.  We both are in lonely places in our lives.  We turn to each other for comfort.

The reason I want to bring this friend is to have someone there, besides the birthday girl and my ex, that I know.  I have met a few of the people that are going to the party, but I don’t know them.  They are primarily friends of hers and my ex’s.  I don’t have a clue what he has said to them (but I sort of have an idea).  I just want someone I can talk to, someone to focus on should I get strange stares and hear whispers.  To have someone there on my side should my ex start anything or otherwise be rude.

From what I hear, he would like “to forget that I ever existed”.  So, I don’t quite understand what the problem is.  This person is both my friend as well as my ex’s.  I am fine with that, and support her in that.  I know it is not easy.  Sometimes, I wonder if she is more his friend than mine.  It seems she is afraid that he will be upset seeing me with someone he might deem his replacement.

Number one: he and I know a lot of the same people.  We will inevitably run into one another on occasion.  That is unavoidable.

Number two: he is the one that broke up with me.  I did not make this decision.  If him seeing me with someone makes him jealous, then as far as I am concerned, he put himself in that place.

Number three:  I have told him that I would like to remain his friend.  I meant that.  I wish him only the best and a life full of happiness and joy.

This person that I wish to bring is a friend.  At this moment in time, that is all he is.  I honestly don’t know if he will become more.  Yes, it is true that we had sex.  But she is the only one that knows.  I will not flaunt this.  I will not flaunt him.  As far as my ex is concerned, he is just a friend.

She keeps telling me that I should move on.  Now that I am trying, she doesn’t want me around.  Doesn’t seem fair, now does it?


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