Today, I was talking to a friend regarding her upcoming 3oth birthday party. I asked if I was still invited since she is also friends with my ex. She said yes, but reminded me that he was going to be there. I informed her that I knew he would be.
I also asked if I could bring a friend. First she replied with “The house is going to be packed. With you coming, that makes 22 people.” At that time I informed her that one of the people she invited told me that he was unable to go as he could not get off from work. That said, if I brought my friend, it still would be 22 people.
She then asked me if my friend was a guy, “like the one you are dating”. I informed her that yes, in fact, it was a guy. And that no, we are not dating. She then adds “ok, the one you’re banging”.
Wait – It gets better! She then said “He (my ex) will know the folks there – but he won’t have banged any of them…”. Umm…okay. Yes, it is true that we have had sex. But I have not advertised this. Nor do I intend to. I told her that only in confidence…as a friend. And speaking of friends, he is just a friend with benefits. At least for now. We both are in lonely places in our lives. We turn to each other for comfort.
The reason I want to bring this friend is to have someone there, besides the birthday girl and my ex, that I know. I have met a few of the people that are going to the party, but I don’t know them. They are primarily friends of hers and my ex’s. I don’t have a clue what he has said to them (but I sort of have an idea). I just want someone I can talk to, someone to focus on should I get strange stares and hear whispers. To have someone there on my side should my ex start anything or otherwise be rude.
From what I hear, he would like “to forget that I ever existed”. So, I don’t quite understand what the problem is. This person is both my friend as well as my ex’s. I am fine with that, and support her in that. I know it is not easy. Sometimes, I wonder if she is more his friend than mine. It seems she is afraid that he will be upset seeing me with someone he might deem his replacement.
Number one: he and I know a lot of the same people. We will inevitably run into one another on occasion. That is unavoidable.
Number two: he is the one that broke up with me. I did not make this decision. If him seeing me with someone makes him jealous, then as far as I am concerned, he put himself in that place.
Number three: I have told him that I would like to remain his friend. I meant that. I wish him only the best and a life full of happiness and joy.
This person that I wish to bring is a friend. At this moment in time, that is all he is. I honestly don’t know if he will become more. Yes, it is true that we had sex. But she is the only one that knows. I will not flaunt this. I will not flaunt him. As far as my ex is concerned, he is just a friend.
She keeps telling me that I should move on. Now that I am trying, she doesn’t want me around. Doesn’t seem fair, now does it?