Up in smoke, down in flames

Sometimes things in out lives grip us so tightly that no matter what we do, we cannot free ourselves.  The more we struggle, the stronger the grip becomes.  Sometimes it is easier to just give in.

So is the case with my latest attempt at quitting smoking.  Since my last posting, I have gone a total of one day without smoking.  Mostly, I “bum” a cigarette or two, justifying it as “Well, at least I am not buying them”.  The other day, I broke down a bought a pack.  I am rather disappointed with myself.

I don’t really get “physical” cravings.  The nicotine patch takes care of that, it’s the “mental cravings” that I am struggling with.  I have to have a cigarette.  NOW.  I have tried the various strategies that I have been told to do to no avail.  The struggle only makes me want one more.

Today, so far, I have had two.  Yep, I “bummed” them.  At least I didn’t buy them.


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